Snowflake

I know my flaws
I know my mistake 
still he calls me snowflake
Knowing is not simply enough
only solution is to be tough
I strive to be the person

he deserves to be with
Is the relationship built on a myth?

Too good

Giving fate a chance

I leave

the stars

to decide.

I know in God I believe.

Molding myself

so I can face

every grief.

No heart...

just a shattered mirror in place.

There lies my reflection

as it should

took me

a minute...

It's too good.

Why be modest
If I could
I would
tell the world
I am too good.

Something I dug up (Written last year)

Wooden planks laid adjacent beneath 

Sown together with a bed of nails 

A rod that bolstered a pair of sails 

Stood steady contingent upon the seas

Without cargo it travelled till now 

Yet albatross was a lone passenger 

He knew not how to cry nor how to anger 

And always led with a smile and bow 

Keeping the tiller aimed forward 

Straight and pointed as an arrow 

Drowning the old sail man’s sorrow 

Came the fervour of the merciless wave

Like a lavish gift from God 

The sadness could not reach 

He knew not how to beseech 

No new hopes were born at all

Continuing the journey on his saddle 

Head kept looking afar 

The water swallowed his guitar 

Hence losing the tune of his paddle

He struck a bargain with himself 

His dreams knew not defeat nor vengeance 

Anticipation can’t escape price and penance 

Apprehended from what once was 

Taking a chance with the sky 

He plead for help like a dying man 

With the hopes of an enduring plan 

But it was time to say goodbye

Granted now it was up or down 

What once was, is no longer his own 

The tale could be told if he had grown 

He succumbed to let his fate unfold

Unravelling a twisted spiral 

The water filling fast within 

Flashes come of what has been 

All will be gone in a while

Parts of his body had been forsaken 

He became a broken sail man 

Never learning how to abandon 

Only to have his possessions taken

-The Broken Sail Man 

#DearMe - What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

CHECK AND DONE...check a couple posts below :D :D #DEARME

Ellen Meets Robbie Twible

Inspiring

It took me 1 2 3

It wasn't right away
Had I known
I could have saved myself
from getting lost
I would have flipped the switch
in my head

I have a picture perfect nothing
I should have spoken
Before it became too real
I have got to turn away in
3 2 1...nope I am still there
sitting at the crossroads

Come follow me down
the winding wire
directing me where to go
Take a polaroid
for that empty frame
in my mind

It's not so predictable
like that hand
on my watch
it can only go around
my wrist
can't go in reverse

So let's go back to fall
before this cold winter
when everything was frozen
under my jacket and scarf
were my loving veins

A moment

Whenever a life changing situation arises, I am reminded of how my blog is the perfect place to document my experiences. So, never would I have predicted the series of events leading up to this day--the day I move to San Francisco. It all happened so fast. Sure moving to a new city doesn't seem like much at first mention. But the spontaneity is what gets to me--since when did my decisions become so life-altering? I guess growing up happens so fast and all at once, it can be overwhelming at times! And even now, nothing is a "given" which is what bugs me and yet motivates me! I do not know how the job hunt in SF will go...I do not how long it will take...all I know is I am not going to give up. I have made it pretty far when it comes to jumping hurdles...doing whatever it takes to get out of obstacles that have arisen till this point in my life. All that practice cannot go to waste...nope not now.

Hey, 15-year-old-me....

Hey, 15-year-old-me....you are in high school now and you have (n.o__i.d.e.a.), but the next 7 years of your life are going to drastically change who you are and how you live. There will be some surprises but you will not regret any of it because every experience you have will become a part of you. The happy times, the sad times, and the boring times...I hope you remember them all. But the one important thing you learn is that even though it hurts now...I mean it will really hurt and you will be stressed out...you will need to keep a strong head on more than one occasion...I still need to tell you not to give up. Because if you give up, it will be the end of those dreams. Keep that steady mind of yours steady always and I am so sure it will end up being great. Why am I telling you this...? Because, man I wish someone had warned me and told me to be prepared. 

My take on u2's new album! :) (Songs of Innocence)

1) The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)

I never listened to the band, The Ramones, but this song by itself is very catchy and appealing at first, but it will get tedious to listen to on repeat after a couple of days :P The lyrics are quite good though and Bono, as usual, doesn't disappoint. It is a good upbeat opener.

2) Every Breaking Wave

I normally don't like slow songs, but I was immediately captured by this song by its lyrics and chorus, and upbeat ending! And The Edge brings magic with his guitar here and there in the song to take you along the waves of the song.

3) California (There Is No End to Love)

There's always a song about California, but this song doesn't just disappear from the album. It has a strong opening bass line and the Beach Boys inspired opening makes it a unique song. But Bono's Woah-Oh-Ooohs are a little cliche and the lyrics seem premature.

4) Song for Someone

Another slow ballad by U2. So far in the album this is one song, which even though is not my favorite, reminds you of some of U2's older songs like the songs from Joshua Tree.

5) Iris (Hold Me Close)

At this point of the time in the album we hear familiar guitar riffs from The Edge and we hear that sound of young Bono when he sings about his mother.

6) Volcano

It has a very punk-rock sound! The song is amazing in all aspects! If you like songs to bang your head to this is the one you are looking for! The chorus is catchy and Bono can really hit the high notes! Can definitely listen to this on repeat! The "YOU ARE ROCK N' ROLL" part really labels this song as a classic rock piece.

7) Raised by Wolves

One of my favorites in the whole album! The start...WOW! Leading up to great lyrics about a bombing in Dublin. Then comes the unpredictable chorus "Raised by Wolves" and the band definitely does justice to this song in all aspects.

8) Cedarwood Road

Another great song! It has the same start of punk/rock like "Volcano". But that cools down and we get a beautiful masterpiece and performance. Hearing this I can really picture Bono in his childhood experiences.

9) Sleep Like a Baby Tonight

3 in a row! Another amazing song! In this day and age these rock songs take me back to the 1980's. It starts like a lullaby, but it is anything but! After 1:30 The Edge comes to take lead and completely changes the sound of the song! Oh and here is the best part of the song! At Bono sings in his highest pitch every "Hope...Hope is where my door is...", putting a great finish to the song!

10) This is Where You Can Reach Me Now

The start is the best part of the song! With the "Soldier...Soldier..." part it had a great intro like the rest of the songs and is a good song that cannot be ignored. It does start to take of a pop song later on reminding me of Micheal Jackson ;)

11) The Troubles

First of all...who is singing in the beginning? I know Bono sings high, but there is definitely a girl throughout the song! Again this sounds like a alternative rock song that could maybe have been written by Imagine Dragons or Coldplay (still great bands), nonetheless this song definitely deserves to be here in this album! It has a completely different sound than the rest of the songs! But who doesn't love a little versatility. "Oh wait there it is" is what you'll say when you the small signature U2 guitar solo near the end of the song :P

U2 is not ready to retire! They still have so much to offer the world and I am so glad they are still making such inspiring pieces! I can't wait till they go on tour!

Free Bird

Sometimes we think that we are free.
We think that we possess the world
and that it will become anything for us.
We hope so much that we overcome reality.
If we accomplish something,
next time we think we can move mountains.
This is all an illusion.
We are all bound to the earth
by the restraint of gravity.
The are physical laws that prevent us
from achieving the otherwise possible.
I know what you are thinking?
That I am pouring negativity into your ears.
What if I tell you I myself am free now?
I am unbound; I am my own and nobody else's.
Now do you believe me?

Lana Del Rey - Dark thoughts ("Ride")

I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer.
At night I fell asleep with visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying with them.
Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour, and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times.
I was a singer - not a very popular one,
I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.
But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.
When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I'd been living, they asked me why - but there's no use in talking to people who have home.
They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people - for home to be wherever you lay your head.
I was always an unusual girl.
My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean...
And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying...
Because I was born to be the other woman.
Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.

Just enjoying writing poetry as usual :)

I can't let go.
Don't show me how.
I'll live with the pain
swallowing it somehow.

I can't let go.
Don't fell bad for me.
It left a scar but,
it's not a burn of third degree.

I can't let go.
Is having emotion
a sign of weakness?
I disagree with that notion.

I can't let go.
Yes it's long-lasting damage.
But don't send me to a psych.
My happiness I can salvage.

If I let go,
Will you leave me idly?
Or will you follow me?
I need to know.

--The only way I know how

This is the idea I woke up to

Her father told her work was her best friend
They knew no other life or means
Arduous tasks greeted her every morning
She wanted the days of her labor to end

How can she deny her father his one hope?
She loved her parents more than herself
If only something could rescue them
But till then she had to be brave and cope.

With care and devotion she planted
She repaired
She transported so
money would be granted.

Days would fly by before she read.
She came across an article
that changed her life.
She would go to college instead.

Everyday she would contemplate
the same article with dedication
until she understood the implications
that would change her fate.

She spent nights under the candle light
Writing out a flyer to send
to the institute she wanted to join
hoping to be drawn out from her plight

She kept in mind
her loved ones
she would strive for them
to be unconfined

She sent her letter in the mail
Everyday checking for replies
still the post devoid of any response
That was the end of her tale.

--Teach me

I was listening to the Beatles today....

I gave up on the crosswalk
I ran past the yellow light
I stood in the middle
I reacted from fright

I am standing still on
what now looks like a bar code
I am paused
Like the cover of Abbey Road

I can do nothing but hear
the Lennon-McCartney library
In my life, for some relief
I look into my crystal clear memory

Thoughts come together whirling
like leaves around a stem
then disappearing into the green light
I know I'll stop and think about them

--Walk on tomorrow

Everything I touch turns 'old'...

Seeing Brazil's defeat last night against Germany evoked emotions in Brazilians and many fans worldwide. Some people may say Brazil's luck ran out right at time when Germany decided to play their best game ever. Was this game a test of emotional strength? If it was, then Brazil had the home advantage but this did not suffice. Did Brazil even have the potential to defeat the powerful European team of Germany? Maybe that is bedsides the point. But, the part that was the most heart-felt was how Brazil succumbed after the first two goals scored by Muller and Klose. Brazil should have come back better and stronger. No, instead they shriveled in front of the mighty Germans. Who is to blame? Only themselves of course. This leads me to a deeper subject.

Defeat is hard to overcome. The power to surpass defeat and welcome success has to come from inside. When the odds are stacked high against you, like in a game of football against the unrelenting Germans, it is important to hold you head high and march through. More than often the victorious ones are ones who can handle being put down. In my opinion, Brazil should have put up a better fight for the sake of their teammates and their country, instead of taking defeat on a silver platter by the Germans.

It is easy to say that "everything I touch turns old". Sometimes we all want the sympathy vote. But does that ensure us a victory? I strongly believe it doesn't. Willpower rules all. Hard work and determination are what guarantees victory over the pity vote.

As a fan of the Netherlands Oranje team in this Fifa World Cup 2014, I am hoping Netherlands does not back down to Argentina. Once again, media says Argentina's Messi will bring the victory home, but I would not want that to happen without a good fight from the Dutch!

Fútbol Fever

Football (or Soccer for those of you from USA) fever has taken over. This is week the semi-finals and finals of the FIFA World Cup 2014 will take place. The WC got me listening to artists like Shakira, Pitbull, and Enrique who have made appearances in international football tournaments.

This led me to the song 'La Tortura' by Shakira which I have heard before but yesterday I actually listened to the lyrics and used some help from translators to figure out the meaning of the song.

It is a good song and even though I never took learning Spanish quite seriously over the four years I spent learning it in my high school, it is a beautiful language. And just listening to it puts one in the fútbol spirit.

Poem #6 for the New Yorker magazine.....the last one ;)

Townspeople gathered in a mob.

Pitchforks and torches illuminating hatred.

Betrayal exposing an inside job

on the verge of painting the house pure red.

The cage walls receded.

Compromising the life inside.

The third man had succeeded

in taking pieces of my pride.

Leaving the abode brimming with griefs,

I left the town denying any amnesty.

Defeat is not in my dictionary of beliefs.

That was how I meet this man--dishonesty

----The Third Man: Dishonesty

poem #5 for the New Yorker magazine

I was a child.
You alone supported me
when I was beaten repeatedly.
My tears were my only misery.

Now I am strong.
I stand on my own two feet.
You looked at me and clicked delete.
Abandonment is a form of defeat.

You have no problem leaving me alone.
Your absence I will never condone.
I was honest to the bone.
But now my loyalty for you is overthrown.

--Third Leg

Poem #4 for the New Yorker magazine

You are a beast.
Everyone's invisible when you are hungry.
If your eyes meet a feast,
you can even jump the country.
You care the least
even if the other person is angry.

--Mainstream invisibility

Poem #3 for the New Yorker magazine

She kept a deep dark secret.
Now it is time for the truth.
She doesn't want to keep it;
it happened while in her youth
It is a part of her history.
But to everyone else it's a mystery.

But will anyone care?
Or will they just judge and stare?
Overcome with morbid fear,
she decided it was best to disappear.
Never to be seen anywhere.

--Under Her Pillow